sometimes life sucks the big one

I am so tired of working my ass off and being broke. I cannot ask for anymore help from my family so right now I am screwed. My checking account is a negative $65 because of my student loan going in a few days early and I have no money to put into my account to bring it back to the plus side. I have noone that I can ask for help. I dont even know why I continue to try. I am to the point I just want to give up and just disappear. Sometimes I think it would be better for my kids if I wasnt here to drag them down in my stupid and impulsive ideas that I have. I just wish there was some way that my life would get better and I wouldnt have to worry about money on a daily basis. I am so tired of being sad and depressed that something has to change and soon or I dont know what will happen.
This move was supposed to have been a good move but its been nothing like that. I possibly think this could have been the worse decision that I could have ever made. But I cannot go back to Ohio. Not only can I not handle the weather anymore but that would just make me a failure. Guess that makes me a big failure since I have kids that this is concerning. I dont know how I became such a failure on almost everything that I do. I have some happiness in my life but for the most part my life has been miserable and I would really like to know what I did in this life or a previous life that would make this life so hard and miserable.