new info

My daughter let me know tonight that she does not want to move to Florida now. She said that her and her dad were not fighting anymore and that she likes winter and wants to stay there. I can honestly say that I am hurt that they would not want to come down here with me. Tim and I were talking tonight and I said to him that if my kids would not come down here during the winter months that I would have to go back to Ohio. I told him my kids are what keep me from killing myself. If I didnt have my kids down here with me then I am never going to be happy at all. I want my kids here with me now and not later but I have to be patient to get them down here unless they still dont want to come down here. I will be devastated if they dont come down here with me. I dont know what I am going to do. I seriously have no idea what to do.

feeling helpless

I feel so helpless right now. My car is still broken down and I have no money to get it fixed. I am stuck in another state with no real friends and having to depend on a boyfriend that I dont even know I want to be with anymore. I miss my kids and want them here with me now but I dont have the money to do that either. I hate this feeling. How is it my life turned out this way? This is not what it was supposed to be like. I was supposed to have my kids, a great job, nice house in a state that never sees snow and a great car. On another note, I cannot wait to go back and see my kids. They will be so shocked when I show up at the house. I am going to tell them that I thought I should hand deliver their bday money LOL. I dont know tho if I am going to want to come back after being with them for 4 days. I was hoping that Chad would have gotten back to me today and that he will let me borrow the money to get my car fixed so I can drive back and find a job that pays better with benefits. I will probably work parttime at the resort for a few so I can save up some extra money but I need need my car to get another job that pays ALOT better. Then I think about the bonuses that we would get during the busy time of the year and I dont want to miss that so that is why Iwill stay on parttime. I got screwed out of it last month and this month we are not going to get one at all. Which really really sucks. Story of my life tho.