Moving on

Well I originally started blogging on my life in Florida since I have moved here and realized that its alot to do with what I have discovered about myself that I started a new blog. I have discovered in the last month that I do not want or need to live with a boyfriend. I am not saying that I dont want a boyfriend but I know for a fact that I do not ever want to live with someone again. I love and valve you my space and when I feel that is being taken from me I shut down emotionally and really push hard away. I moved in with someone that I was dating once before but split up for awhile and in 3 weeks I found that I cannot live with him. Its not that he is a bad guy a little weird and high maintenance but a good guy at heart. Maybe a little obsessive too. So, I am now in Florida and have a job but now need to find somewhere else to live. But doing that is easier said than done. I have only been working for 3 weeks and I get paid every 2 weeks so I havent got a full paycheck yet and most places down here for me and my kids(12yr girl and 8 yr boy) can live is so expensive that I may have to move up around lauderdale area or daytona area where the rent is a little cheaper but that means relocating once again, trying to find a new job and a new place to live without have any money is going to be hard. I fly back to Ohio to get my son who wanted to stay with his dad for the summer and have to make a decision if I am bringing them back with me or if I am going to leave them there so I can stay with a friend in the lauderdale area. I could get a job and save up money to get a place for me and the kids. I have one other option and its getting this job I came across down where I live now that would allow me to work it and keep my other job and be able to afford a place for me and my kids for us to stay down here.
I am so confused on what to do. I want to stay in Florida and not move back to Ohio, so thats not what I am confused about. Do I come back to where I am living now with my kids and be unhappy or do I leave them in Ohio so I can get my shit in order here and bring them into a good situation instead of a very tense situation. It would break my heart to leave them in Ohio but it may be the best thing for them til I can fix the mess that I am in and then bring them down.
Why does this have to be so hard? I will feel like a failure of a mom if they stay in Ohio with their dad but then again I look at it as doing right by them. In Ohio they have a house to call their own, their own room and their friends. In Florida I dont know that I could afford for them to have their own room. My daughter and I would probably have to share a room and my son have his own room, if I could afford a 2 bedroom down here. If I was to get this other job I would be able to get a place within a month or 2 and keep my other job too then I would actually be where I could be comfortable and enjoy life instead of stressing all the time and being miserable.